I'm not one to write a lot, but a lot has been on my mind and I feel the need. Where I used to only have to worry about what outfit to wear or what accessories go best with that outfit (go ahead and say it, "VAIN!"), I now have an extended list of worries - that I place upon myself (some might say too much, right honey?) So as to allow myself a sense of freedom from these daily anxieties I'm writing them out. Maybe if I read them aloud I'll realize how silly some truly are. (Feel free to leave me comments...whether you think I'm crazy or not!)
WHAT IF:
*he doesn't sleep through the night?
*I'm never a good cook?
*people only saw abilities, not disabilities?
*she were to be cured?
*hearts could be mended over night?
*she watches too much tv?
*everyone believed?
*they were able to?
*I forget to say I love you?
*she cries again this morning when I drop her off at school?
*he wets through tonight?
*I prayed more?
*I'm being too much?
*they don't know how much I love them?
*I show up with baby spit on me?
*I were a size 4 again? :)
*I had to face their challenge?
*I should have fed him vegetables not fruits?
*I don't get the ironing done?
*I'm late for work?
I could go on, but won't burden you. As I review my blessings I feel selfish that I should question anything. But I am human; thanks for listening!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
What if?
at 7:54 AM
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6 comments:
I think we can identify with your worries, perhaps Abbey more than myself. It's a mother instinct. We live in a worry-inducing culture where stressed and paranoid are the norm. But take comfort in the Lord and know that He is in control.
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life..." Matthew 6:25
"Be still before he Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices" Psalm 37:7
"Be still and know that I am God.." Psalm 46:10
Ahh, Sarah, I feel your pain! I am also a worrier. One of my closest friends lost her 10 year-old son at the end of September due to a farming accident outside their kitchen window. This has sent me into worry overload; to the point of tears. When I get like that, I can't help but to reflect. Seems to be the only way I can get the "worry" out of me, whatever it may be.
P.S. I loved reading through your blog! :)
I think that you are only "human" and it is only normal to have such a long list of worries. Having those thoughts to me means you are trying to make this world the best it can be and trying to be the best you can be. When we stop thinking about these types of "worries" I think we become complacent and what's the fun in that. You are a great mom, wife, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, teacher and friend. You are loved by many, because you are always trying to do the right thing. Love you Sarah!
Oh, the anonymous comment was from Stacy...or Anastasia as I am lovingly referred to by PJ. :)
WOW! Sarah your blog literally brought me to tears...I feel the same way you do! I am so scared/excited about bringing this 2nd life into the world. Are we gonna make it finanically, are we going to give him the attention he needs while still being able to meet Madelyn's too...I am guessing this is all part of being a parent...I think you are pretty amazing and I think you are doing a great job as a mom, wife, sister, daughter! I will certainly be looking to you for advise on how to raise 2 happy sweet kido's just like the ones you have!
You are amazing!
Erin
I loved reading your blog! Your mom and dad were telling us about it last week when they were back! I will tell you that your "worries" are only natural and human. In fact having those worries shows what kind of a person you are and your parents raised you to be as they have the same worries as you!
Hope to see all of you soon!
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